Things Our Children Teach Us
by Stine8503
Summary: The title more or less is the entire theme behind the way they're together. I will keep Ned alive by writing countless fangirl adoration fics. I'll have at least one for each of the Stark kids, and Jon because I don't like leaving him out.
1. Robb

Disclaimer: Borrowed characters, somewhat original plot.

Most of my fanfics have Ned and Cat, I think they're both my favorite but together as a couple. Because even thought they both are the kind of characters that don't exist in reality, I think their reactions especially to each other are very human and they must of loved each other, which is rare to see with anyone anymore. Ned is my favorite character, he's they type of person that I always want to have in something I'm reading and even though I knew he was doomed from the beginning, I really wanted to see him in book two. So, I'm publishing these too. I have a whole collection of ideas for this. I just need to finish or edit them. The title I chose for the story gets the point across and the chapters are just going to be the kids names, and yes, I'm using Jon too. Once I had this one started I knew I needed one to contrast this, because above all else I don't think she ever forgave him for bringing Jon home. I also left it ambiguous for those people (like me) with the whole R+L=J. If it's true, it's true and if it's not, then that's fine by me too. If it isn't true, then he's more human than everyone give him credit for.

Robb

The ladies thought she was crying because of the pain from her labor, but it wasn't that case at all. She held the child, their child in her arms. He was healthy, the gods also saw that he was fit to have some hair. Lovely red hair, and he had beautiful blue eyes, just like she did. It wasn't the heir she wanted to present him with. His heir needed to have dark hair, like his father and light eyes, like he had. The long face, the solemn look, yet here she held their son, and he smiled and laughed with his red hair and blue eyes. What would he think? They hardly knew each other, how could he ever want to be with her now? She'd give him a nice name, write him a letter telling him the good news only to disappoint him with a child that looked like he didn't belong to him. It broke her heart, she wanted him to be her Brandon, her strong, always loving protector and it would be ruined when he saw the boy.

"Lovely, lovely Cat. An heir for Winterfell, Lord Stark will sleep better once he hears."

"Will he? Will he truly be happy… He might have a little too much of our Tully blood in him father."

"What else could he expect, he was born in Riverrun after all. The man will be pleased. Give him a good name, keep him healthy and strong, he wouldn't be able to ask for more…"

"He wouldn't rather his heir favor him father, yours does…"

"And I also had daughters before I had a son. You have plenty of time to give him sons and daughters once he is home. But for now you've given him something to lighten up the darkness around him. War is troubling business, the more he has to look foreword to the more likely he'll come back home all right."

"What if he never comes back…We sided with rebels, and they lost. He'll never see his son and I wouldn't know what to say about his father. What would I even tell him, his father came to honor a contract made by you and his father between me and his brother. Then his sister was kidnapped, they died, and he came to marry me instead. He wed me and bedded me and a day later went off to war."

"You shouldn't look at it that way at all." He replied. "Lord Eddard will come back, and he'll be plenty happy to see his wife, and hold his son. No good can come of you thinking that he'll die."

"But he might."

"He has the might of the north with him. He has a cause, someone he wants to save and a wife and child to come back to. If a man my age can survive a few battles here, I'm sure your strong husband will be fine. Your just really scared to leave home. When you leave with him it's very likely you'll never see Riverrun again."

She frowned. It wasn't completely true, but she was scared. She didn't know a thing about Eddard Stark. He'd been quiet on their wedding night, he hadn't said much to her during the feast. When he said his goodbyes there was still a bit of tenderness in his eyes even if it was because he was looking foreword to coming back to someone to warm his bed. Oh how she wished he were Brandon, handsome and witty. "They're good men, the Starks?"

"They are, noble, just, righteous, not a house in the North has wished for another ruler since the age of heroes when their house was founded. He'll be good to you, I have no doubt about that. We were very lucky Lord Rickard wanted a marriage between our houses."

She found she was fond of being a mother, she didn't mind that he woke her up in the middle of the night. She liked to hold him, to stroke his hair and look into his eyes. She was sure this was how she had looked as a baby, and she was given the same love and devotion. But her husband was to return that day and she still didn't know what to think about how he'd feel. Surely everyone was right, he'd take the child into his arms, claim him as his own son and heir and be as pleased as she was with his growth. But, at the same time there was a nagging in the back of her head. He didn't look like a Stark, he would want a boy that looked like him. But she'd made her best effort to please him. She named him Robb, which would be close enough to Robert, while still leaving some room and a possibly to become a new traditional family name. She'd even taken time to sew him clothes in their house colors. Now she just had to wait, and keep him clean.

He found her in her chambers in the late afternoon. Their son was fast asleep, but when he approached she had to think and remember if she'd seen him before because it had been so long. He looked more tired than any man had a right to be, and he stood in front of her and offered her a small box, with a wedding present he hadn't had because they were married in such a rush. She took it from him and left it unopened on the table closest to her bed.

"He's been sleeping, do you want to hold him?" Without thinking she lifted the baby into her arms and passed him over to his father. He held him awkwardly, and she had to help him but once he had it figured out he looked at the boy and smiled.

"Do you know who I am little one? Look how big you are, and you have a head full of hair!" Ned said to the child. He rocked him in his arms and touched him lightly. Robb grabbed at his fingers and giggled and smiled, like he knew who he was.

"…Does he please you…?" She asked unsurely.

"He pleases me greatly." He kissed the boy on the forehead and smiled. "He's a beautiful healthy boy. Who would he not please? Strong too, he keeps grabbing onto my fingers."

She smiled. "I'm glad he pleases you. I was concerned that you might not like the way he looks."

"Why would I not like the look of him?" He held him up high and Robb giggled then he pulled him in closer. "He looks perfect, full of health and joy. He's the one who shouldn't be pleased, I have to smell like the stables…I just wanted to give you your gift. I had a gown made for you in King's Landing, hopefully it isn't with my things going to Winterfell."

"When will we be leaving…?" She didn't want it to sound as if she were upset she had to leave her home, but it certainly came out in the tone she used a mixture of sorrow and disappointment.

"In the morning I think. Another day of rest would sit well with me, but I've already imposed enough on your father's hospitality."

"And you must miss Winterfell terribly…"

"When my father sent me to Jon Arryn it took me months to stop missing Winterfell. I hadn't thought I'd see it in my possession."

"But now you'll see it again, and we'll all start a new life there."

"Yes." He took a few steps toward her and gave the child back to her. "Before then I'd like to have a talk with you. Just out in the garden before we sup but after I've had a bath. Surely the smell has been bothering you."

"Not at all, it's good to see you again." It was an automatic answer for a lady. He looked like a mess, it looked like he'd left King's Landing in a hurry after the sacking then traveled straight back. His face looked stern and unforgiving when she met him, and now he just looked tired and worn down, there was nothing frightening about his demeanor where as at their wedding she couldn't get past his stoney exterior. Now there was no doubt in her mind, the war hadn't made him stronger, it made him tired and lonely. It was just as her father said, he was more than happy accept anything from her as he was now used to sleeping on the ground in a tent.

"It's good to see you again." He took her hand and kissed it. "I fear I'm not very good at courting…"

She smiled. "It might be a little late for courting, we are married. I do appreciate my gift, thank you." She kissed him, full on him mouth like she though she'd be expected to. But he hadn't thought her that brave, or himself that desirable and it took him seconds to react. He pulled her closer to him and for that moment when he kissed her back with that intense passion she felt maybe it had changed him just enough. With the war he was just a man, and he was lucky to have survived while others died and it would forever leave it's mark on him. Had they married, and had he taken her to Winterfell he might not have come to her with some despair looking for something she could give him. He didn't come to her first out of necessity, or because it was the right thing to do. He came to her in hope there would be comfort in her touch, love in her heart, and goodness in her soul so she could recharge his good spirit and lightheartedness, which was such a difficult task for a man of his rank.

It had only been two hours since she'd seen him last, but she'd dressed nicely for him. She even styled her hair in the northern style as to show she was ready. She wasn't frightened anymore, he was stern but she now knew he did have a softer side with love and compassion, he would be a good husband. When she thought back to Brandon, she couldn't remember a time she had been at a loss for words with the emotion she felt with him. They were more physical, she liked when he had kissed her, and he was handsome the ladies in Riverrun seemed to look at her with some envy when he was around. But, with Eddard she had a breakthrough, one in which she was very sure they'd have a good happy marriage. He had told her to meet him by the heart tree. Northerners must find them sacred, he told her he needed to pray, then he needed to talk to her. She couldn't imagine why he wanted to talk, if it were just a request because he was lonely he could of waited until they went to bed. Then she saw him, and she smiled despite herself, they were still strangers after all.

"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting." She said, the smile on his face was faint but it was there.

"You didn't keep me waiting at all. I had just finished. Do you know anything of the old gods?" He asked.

"No, I know less and nothing about them. You said you were going to pray by it."

"It's the last weir tree left for leagues. The last night I stayed here I prayed to the old gods that I would come back for you. That you would be safe and protected, and if we had a child, they would protect him as well. They responded well, even thought they couldn't see where I was in the south. The old gods can see through the trees."

"The face on it always frightened me when I was younger. I grew up with the seven. I don't imagine I would know what to do with the old gods…"

"I don't expect you to worship my gods on a whim. I'll have a sept built in Winterfell, our children can worship them both. It should be the best way for them, when they're old enough they can chose by who answers their prayers. I wanted you to come here because I don't want you to hear it from anyone else. I want it to come from me, and I want you to know what I'm telling you is true, it's a burden on my soul."

"I don't understand…"

"By the time we reach Winterfell, there will already be a child there. He is my blood, and I take full responsibility for any anger or ill will you should feel toward this child. He's still small like Robb, but I wasn't going to leave him behind. They can grow up together, they'll play and grow…."

She was beyond furious, she couldn't take another word. If she hadn't already been married to him she was more than certain she would be pleased to never see him again. She had been so close to accepting him, to admitting she was pleased she had him and not Brandon. It was all horribly wrong, he was admitting he'd slept with another woman, and she'd given him a son as well. She hated the thought. If he had any shred of honor or love for her he would have left the boy in Jon Arryn's care.

"Your angry with me….and I expected you to be angry…I wanted to tell you now, in hope it could ease the pain or lessen your anger. I missed you, I long for any moment of time you could spare for me. But my folly puts our marriage in an odd position…."

"It certainly does. Is that how men in the north treat their ladies? Am I supposed to act like it doesn't bother me you laid with another woman while we were married? While you were gone I prayed for you, I cried at the thought you might never come back and see your son. I guess it wouldn't of mattered…"

"I love our son. I regret all of this, but it needs to be said, and by me not by ladies at Winterfell while I tried to hide him from you. I want to be honest with you, I want there to be love between us. I did the wrong thing, I know I have. There isn't a woman alive more beautiful than you…"

"I don't want to share my bed with you. Not tonight, not for a long time."

"….I expected as much." She was surprised in the tone of his voice, it was as if he felt disappointed. Or even hurt by that statement. He hurt her, he betrayed her trust, and even worse he was going to remind her of it everyday.

"I don't want to see you until we leave…"

"I'll honor my lady's wishes." Now he sounded defeated, and she almost wished he hadn't said the last part at all. "I just wanted this to happen here, so you could bear witness as I swear to the old gods, my gods. So now I can swear an oath, that I will be a good husband, I'll always treat you kindly, justly and with the care and love you disserve. I've ruined what should have started out as a happy marriage and I'll never let you down again."

She didn't know how to respond. His manner was very serious, firm and deliberate. The look in his eyes was determined, and she realized there were no words she could say. Without thought she'd dismissed him from her for what could be a very long time. She might have been childish in her actions, but she couldn't help how betrayed she felt. Then he'd decided to make her almost feel guilty by swearing an oath to her in front of the heart tree. She glanced at it again and it still made her shudder like the first time she'd seen it more than ten years ago. What did the old gods mean to her? Still she stared at the tree, taking in it's white branches and red leaves. She took a couple steps closer, still looking at the branches as they swayed in the wind. Then she looked back at the face in the tree.

"I don't actually think your watching me, and I really don't care if you are. I have nothing to hide from you." The tree was silent, but the branches still seemed to dance in the wind. "I feel like a fool, talking to a tree. But he believes your there. You can let him know he's not forgiven, and I likely never will forgive him."

The wind seemed to get stronger all of the sudden. It was a cold wind, and it lasted far too long. She held her arms and wished she hard brought her cloak. Once it died down, she looked back at the tree. For a brief second it was as if they had spoken to her, Winter is coming, it seemed to say with that very cold gust of wind. She watched it a few seconds longer, almost as if she expected another message. Then she turned to walk away, hoping she'd erase the memory from her mind.

She hadn't bothered to change, there was no point in doing so. If she looked less like the lady of Winterfell, she knew her father would say something. Above all else she wanted to feel like he had taken her side in this disagreement of sorts. Her husband had been careless and tactless. She strode into the dinning hall with some confidence. She wouldn't sit by him, her father would make a point to scold him and she wouldn't have to lay with him at all for a good, long time. The sound of her father laughing was the last thing she expected. Eddard Stark standing next to him was another thing that made her unsure. When she finally got to the table, she realized she would have to sit next to him. For a moment she thought she might try and take Edmure's spot. But she'd only pulled the chair out before her father gave her a stern look that made her feel like she was a naughty child. So, she resigned to sitting next to her husband, but he had been true to his word. He hadn't touched her or made any acknowledgement to the fact she was there.

She ate in silence, as her father talk to the Lord of Winterfell and they caught up with everything he had been thought during the war. Except of course the bastard he'd brought back. There was still some hope left after all. Maybe there was so hope after all, maybe, just maybe he hadn't mentioned anything about bringing that bastard home. Surely her father would side with her, he certainly wouldn't do anything like that. It was a comforting thought. So, with some enthusiasm she tried to enjoy the rest of her meal. But the later it became, she noticed he was looking weary. He yawned and apologized, but her father wouldn't have it. He knew he had meant no disrespect, then came the words she was dreading.

"Cat should show you to her room. The two of you have hardly said anything to each other today. I'm sure you've been looking foreword to her company."

"I have, but my lady is rather reasonably upset with me…"

"Nonsense. Cat will have you, if she's in my castle she will do as I say." Neither he or she made a point to argue, the issue was settled. He rose from his seat and left the room. She was reluctant to follow, but she rose once she knew he was outside the doors. Her father took her hand and she looked over at his stern expression. "I am not pleased, but I will not have you treat him like this. Remember our words Catelyn, you will do what you must. You'll be happier and safer for it, the man went to war, likely thought he'd never come back. Not that it justifies keeping it…Let him earn back your affections, you have plenty of time for more high born children. Keep him happy and he won't find someone else to warm his bed."

She pulled away and left the hall. She felt like she was going to cry, the tears stung in her eyes at the realization of the least sentence. How could she have kept him happy while he was away? She wrote to him when she found out she was with child, if it wasn't soon enough for him it wasn't her fault. She needed to be sure after all, if she had waited only a month she might have found out she hadn't been. Then she felt his hand against her cheek, he lightly took a handkerchief to her eyes, drying the tears she didn't know were falling.

"Thank you…"

"I know it hasn't been enough time. But, I hate seeing you in pain, you have such a lovely face and pretty eyes. Everything seems better when you smile."

She did manage to smiled for him, and he took her hand and kissed it, unsure if he were allowed to be more affectionate because of the circumstances. He offered her his arm, as if she needed to be escorted to her own room. But what choice did she have, like her father had said if she kept him happy, there would be no reason for him to have another. So, dutifully she took it and let him lead the way.

"I am sorry. If I hadn't said it already, if it helps I had offered to sleep in the stables if he didn't have extra room." He said if only to break the ice.

"Was it my fault…"

"Was what your fault?" he asked she gave him a meaningful look and automatically he shook his head. "No, no never. I don't want to relive it. My actions are not something I am proud of."

"What was her name?"

"Catelyn…"

She ignored him. "What did she look like?"

"My lady…"

"I don't think it was something Brandon would do." At that he stopped dead in his tracks. She looked over at him cautiously, she broke him with those words, she knew it. That had hurt him more than anything else could. If she had married his brother, he wouldn't of gone off with another woman.

"You truly thing so?" He asked, his tone stony she looked into his eyes for a moment for some sense of emotion and found nothing. It seemed to make her reply a little less certain.

"Possibly."

"Well if he manages to come back to life before he reaches Winterfell you can ask him yourself." He replied in the same stony tone. She suspected that hadn't been the smartest topic of conversation and tried to think on something else to talk about. But what else was there? The weather hardly seemed appropriate and she didn't know what he liked. So they'd walked in silence. He opened the door for her, and she went inside first. Once he was inside she looked over Robb's crib and sighed. He wasn't asleep, meaning simply she couldn't sleep.

But her husband had come to the same conclusion, and he'd been first to reach in and cradle the boy. She muttered a silent prayer to the new gods he would be happy, that he wouldn't fuss and he wouldn't cry. Even as Eddard rocked him back and forth in a very different way than she did, he seemed content.

"Aren't you just perfect?" He asked. Catelyn smiled and finally settled on getting ready for bed herself. When she looked for her husband again, he was sitting next to the bed, still holding their son. It was if he'd forgotten how tired he was in the first place. Robb hadn't been demanding for his attention, he just looked up at his father while he spoke softly to him, every once in a while he'd stroke his hair. She had to remember she was mad at him, and she didn't want to have anything to do with him, not right now. Not until she felt he wasn't going to betray her. So she laid down, facing the wall, as far away from him as she could. Then he rocked the boy, and in the lightest, softest tones she could hear him trying to sing.

She turned back around to face him and just watched, as he held Robb and continued with his melody. Robb's eyes started to get heavy, and it warmed her heart. She hadn't thought he'd sit with their son and rock him to sleep, she thought for sure she would do everything in her power to get him to sleep. The longer it would take her the more he'd be displeased with his wife. Just as he went to sing his song again, he looked down and noticed the boy's eyes were shut, and he was breathing heavily, because he was in a deep sleep. He laid the child back in his bed, and covered him. Then he leaned in and kissed the top of his head. He'd melted her heart, she just couldn't be mad at him. Once he laid in bed next to her, she'd moved closer and wrapped her arms around him.

"I though you…"

"I'm sorry, from before in the hallway. I don't care what he would have done. You're the Stark I have, and I'm glad I have you…faults and all…"

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Thank you. I…It's not that I don't want to share every thing in my life with you. But, talking about it won't ever help us. All you need to know is that I'm happy I'm married to you, and I hope very much we'll love each other. I won't do anything to harm you again." He ran his fingers through her hair and she smiled lightly.

"I take back what I said before, our son might require most of my time at Winterfell, but I would like to see you when I can."

He continued stroking her hair but his eyes were getting heavy. "As would I…"

She tried to think of something else to say, but she didn't need to. She heard his breathing slow and she looked back over at him. She sat up and touched his face, he wasn't handsome. But he was kind, he wanted to be gentle, so he told her as soon as he could. Then when he told her to meet him by the weir wood tree, it was if he was bearing part of his soul to her, and she'd thrown it away like it had meant nothing to her. She settled back into his arms and sighed. What was coming wouldn't be easy, but he would make his best effort to put her first, he said he wanted to treat her like she should be treated. She could trust him, or she could shun him. Every marriage had it's challenges, and someone had been kind in seeing she had a man that would be good and had a kind soul he would share with her. It would be a shame to let the compassion he'd shown for their son go to waste, let alone what loving her would entail. She would trust him, she wouldn't let a bastard wedge it's way between them. Maybe one day she would stop blaming him, maybe she could convince him to send the child somewhere else. Where he wouldn't remind her of her uncertainty toward him, and his unfaithfulness toward her. Winter was coming after all, and who better than a Stark to keep her safe and protected when it did.


	2. Jon

For all intensive purposes, I've had this one done for at least a month. But I didn't like how I ended it. There needed to be something more. And I just couldn't figure out what it was for the life of me. I had wanted to find a quote for the beginning. Instead of a long rant on why I just had the hugest writers block in the world. But the point I wanted to get across was the two biggest obstacles in their marriage they were forced to deal with directly and immediately. At least from my experiences so far in life there isn't anything in a past that can preventing you from moving foreword as long as you want to try. When you really look at the situation from a distance, regardless if Jon was Ned's or not it might have been just what she needed to understand where he'd come from. There could have been jealousy and grudges for years and years between him and Brandon and she didn't mind marrying Ned to do what their father's agreed on, but he might have had some uneasy feelings about it. He might have felt guilty even. But, we know he was described as being shy, and he certainly seems introverted to me which is a huge wall to break down in itself. If she hadn't have been upset about Jon, mad, possibly even determined to make him forget he was there by giving him more children, he might not have warmed up to her quite as much. Sure, it was for the wrong reasons but they were reasons to start a conversation, to know him, and once that happened I'm sure he's a feeling type of guy and she wouldn't mind that at all.

This had all actually been a theory one of my friends was talking about. We'd been bouncing huge ideas to each other to keep some interest and our minds sharp for the next book. He had discussed multiple things on Rickard Stark and come to the conclusion he had to have been a lot like Ned. No one complains about how either of them had problems ruling a wide spread culturally diverse people. So, there had to be things he'd inherited as a Stark from him. Then the stone faced statue, the only real reason we created to change their personality. Rickard was an only child, he likely married someone pretty 'far below him' which was normal for lords. He knew what to do with his heir and his daughter. But Ned was sent to the Vale, and look at the strong ties he made for himself there. He'd even found someone equally important for his sister to marry. (And I'm almost certain it was more important to Robert for Ned to be his brother than it was to marry his sister.) Rickard didn't understand his children, and I don't think he took the time to hear what things they had to say. Which certainly isn't the case with Ned. (Or so I think) Rickard (in my opinion) likely only wanted to have anything to do with the two he knew he needed to mold. Brandon and Lyanna. There are a thousand things I could say to try and describe it, and maybe I will at some point. In fanfic or something else. (But if you are interested in reading anything I though on this and that and pre Robert's Rebellion ect. You can check out the musings I did as Lyanna. I have a collection we worked on. But my friend isn't much for organized Rping so it's kind of at a standstill. At and if that's just not your cup of tea there is more terrific writing on there and more to come.) But, the thing I am enjoying, my Harrenhal Tourney fanfic. It unfortunately took up a lot of the time I'd planned to continue with this one. (And oh how it still is, but I'm holding off on reading any fanfics about it until I'm done. Then I won't be influenced!)

* * *

><p>Jon<p>

It didn't matter what he said, Winterfell was cold. There was a constant chill in the air, the inside was warmer. He'd arranged things nicely enough for her. She was given the warmest chambers in the castle, she was pleased he'd been so thoughtful. But the warmest days in Winterfell still felt like the coldest nights in Riverrun, even in her chambers.

He came into her chambers, mostly with simple talk. But she was having difficulty coming to terms with their situation. Her Ned wasn't affectionate, but he liked to touch her hair, sometimes her face. Then he'd give her kisses, they started as soft as his touch. Then they became more deliberate. They became more heated. She knew why, she knew what he wanted from her, but she refused to give it to him the pleasure. She'd tell him she had a headache, or that she was having woman troubles. Then he'd give her one last kiss and retreat to his chambers.

Illogical, but it was a sort of simple jealousy she couldn't ignore. The easy way to get over her feeling would just be to give in, to let him have his way. Then they'd have another child. Surely she'd give him another son, one that favored him and he'd cast that bastard aside, sending him away and she'd never again see him. Ned wouldn't hold him, he wouldn't smile for him and he certainly wouldn't push her to have him play with her precious Robb.

It broke her heart the first time she saw Jon Snow. That was the trueborn son and heir he should have. Dark hair, light eyes, like a Stark, just like his father. She just held onto Robb tighter. She left herself alone with him. Her husband dismissed it as how ladies act, so she kept herself with him. Not because she was angry or upset but because Winterfell was new. The ground was harder, the breezes had more of a chill, she knew no one but him, and adjusting took time. He took the time to show her where everything was, but in those first few months she'd get lost without him. That's how they eventually feel into the easy routine they had now. She had time to enjoy the fresh air, and he'd find her.

She remembered the first time well. She went downstairs through the courtyard and to where she hoped was the library. But she'd gotten all turned around then ended up at the armory. Then she'd wandered to the gods wood, just as he'd been coming back. She'd never been so happy to take his arm.

"Where were you off to?" he asked with a small smile.

"Just to the library. I thought I might look for something to read to Robb."

"You do know, we have a woman in our service who specializes in telling young Starks stories. I must have brought you to her…"

"But I would like to read it to him." She replied, the tone in her voice casual.

"Then read to him, my sweet wife. I'm just reminding you for next time. Incase you'd like the time for something else."

"I'll keep it in mind my lord." She replied.

"How are you getting along?" he asked.

"Well enough…"

He didn't seem pleased with the answer. "Are some of the ladies unkind? Did someone say or do something cruel?"

"No! Not at all…Ned…I just…I don't feel right here. I'm still adjusting…I've only ever known Riverrun…" She almost sounded frantic.

"Surely there is someone in our service you are a little fond of. You didn't bring Robb with you, so you must trust someone to keep him safe."

She nodded and replied timidly. "Poole. She has daughters, one not much older than him. He has a lot of energy, they might still be playing in the courtyard."

This far in their marriage he'd been content enough not to push her. He let her take her time, but now it seemed that four months was a long time. While they weren't quite newly married, because he'd been at war for almost a year at war, they were still strangers. Maybe they should have moved past it by now, but he had been so patient this far. Now he put on a more serious face, she'd learned at least that much when she dined with him. He liked to show his men he listened to their thoughts and ideas, but it had been the first time his expression changed like that for her. She didn't want to feel like they were talking business, or politics. So, she smiled sweetly and rubbed his arm. It wasn't overly affectionate, but his face warmed at the gesture.

"What was it? You looked ready to say something."

"I just thought it might be a good time to introduce him to Jon Snow. He is almost two years old. It would be nice to see him play with someone his age."

"There are other children."

"Yes, there are but I had hoped we could have more children."

"We will….I…I worry for his safety. You know how everyone feels about bastards. There's something that makes them…less than good natured."

"What harm could a boy his age do? Jon can be taught, we'll mold him into a fine man. Robb will never have reason to fear him. They'll play together…they'll grow together."

"I won't do anything for him. He's not mine." She replied firmly.

"But he'll learn from Robb. He'll be nursed by your love and affection and he'll share it with Jon. They'll be so happy together."

"How can you be so sure?" She replied.

"How can you be so sure he will be insidious? I pray to the gods they love each other like brothers, how can my prayers be answered if they never try?"

She could deny her husband many things, but this couldn't be one of them. Robb would find Jon eventually anyway. Once he could run around on his own, it was only a matter of time. "I want to keep him safe…"

"As do I, he's my heir after all. Tomorrow morning bring him to my chambers. We can all break our fast there and you can see Jon is just like any other infant.

She frowned. "I don't want him there."

"It is difficult for you." he stopped, as did she. Then he stepped forward to face her. She looked like she might cry. Gently he put her hand on her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. "Do you trust me? Even a little?"

"You've been kind to me. Of course I trust you…"

He kissed her again. "I won't ask you to hold him, I'm not asking you to love him. All I ask is for you to accept that he's here…"

"He breaks my heart. Not because he's here, but because of what he means. At least once you cast the thought of me aside for another woman. Everyday, every time I see him I can't help but wonder if it will happen again."

"It does no good to think like that, am I not here for you now?"

She hardly slept that night. It was dream after dream about Robb growing up, becoming a good and just lord, then being murdered by Jon, who looked remarkably like Ned. It was hard enough for her to fall asleep after the first time it happened. But she prayed, and when she was done crying, she tried to sleep again. But each time they were worse, he killed more of their children. Or there were ladies and lords of his whispering to each other about how Jon looked like he should be the heir, and Robb looked like a bastard. Finally, when she'd given up she dressed Robb in his nicest Stark colored clothes and lifted him into her arms. The dreams were still fresh in her mind, and every nod in acknowledgement, or greeting of any sort were taken the wrong way. Then finally, once she'd reached his chambers she found he wasn't alone. There was a lady with him, but she had only ever see him together with that boy and Ned had smiled at his wife. It was almost as if one of the nightmares was becoming real.

"There's my lady, and my son." He kissed his wife and took Robb for a moment. She decided she'd come closer to him, and hold his hand.

"Robb, this is Jon." Jon hadn't been paying much attention to anything but he turned to look at Ned because he'd said his name. They looked at each other for a moment, and while they were trying to figure out where the other had come from, or what to do Catelyn prayed that Robb start to fuss, that he cry and whine, and not want to have anything to do with that boy.

Then Robb started to laugh, and he was trying to grab at him. Jon responded the same way. So, they set them down by a nice pile of toys which they immediately went after. Catelyn couldn't take her eyes away from them. She was cautious, she pulled away from her husband and picked Robb back up. He seemed confused at first, then he started to whine.

"No….no…Jon….Down, down….Jon…." He fussed.

"Catelyn…put him down, it's all right. We're right here, no harm will come to him." Ned tried to sooth her. He rubbed the small of her back, and slowly she lost her resolve. She set Robb down and immediately Jon smiled.

"Robb! Robb!"

She watched as the two boys giggled, and went back to playing like they hadn't a care in the world, which was true, she worried but Robb didn't know any better. Then she looked unsurely to her husband. He put an arm around her and led her back to his bed, where they could sit and talk for the first time since they'd been married. She leaned into him, and let her head rest on his chest. She kept her eyes on their son, but she did still feel tired.

"They are happy. Jon isn't around many people. Let alone a boy his own size…"

"He's not mine to care for…" She replied.

"I know. Maybe they could find some time to play though. Maybe, I could come to your chambers more often, or you to mine, and we could feel more like a proper family…."

Her eyes started to feel heavy, but Ned didn't feel Robb was threatened. She needed to stay awake and watch for his sake. "Family…duty honor."

"My lady sounds tired. Did you not sleep well…?" He asked. His arm had shifted, and he stroked her hair, he liked the feeling of her close to him.

"No…I had a few troubling dreams." She muttered. "I just, I want to rest my eyes for a moment. I won't fall asleep…You'll watch him….won't you?"

"Of course."

She fell asleep against him, and he continued touching her hair. It was soft, and in the light he noticed there were many shades of red. Then he leaned back to lay on the bed, bringing her with him while she was dozing. He pulled away from her, and for a moment he was afraid she was going to wake up. But she lay still, even after he covered her in his furs and kissed her cheek. She seemed to find comfort there, with his scent, it was like he was still there protecting her.

"Cake! Cake!"

She opened her eyes and turned to the noise. Her Ned was sitting on the ground with the two boys. A tray had been brought in, she must have slept through their morning meal, and now they were on their noon meal. Robb was pointing to the tray, smiling at Ned, and he continued to repeat that word over and over again. Jon chimed in, likely thinking if he was so happy it was there, it must be such a good thing he wanted it too.

"Cake! Cake! Cake!"

"Shhh. In a minute. Your mother is sleeping."

She smiled, and held back a giggle. Robb had seemed to understand 'mother' and 'sleeping' then looked at her, saw she was awake and then looked back at his father.

"No sleeping, cake!"

"Cake!" Jon echoed, and they both laughed.

"Shhh…." She watched him pick one boy up in each arm and stand up. She closed her eyes again and heard his footsteps coming closer. He set Robb on the bed in front of her, Jon close by him and then knelt on the floor beside her. Robb giggled. "You want to wake her up?"

"Up mother, wake up. It's morning, mother." He replied.

She smiled despite herself, and Ned stroked her hair again. Her eyes fluttered open and he smiled warmly. He liked the deep blue color of her eyes, he would never get tired of seeing it, or touching her hair, or her smile. She picked their son up and smiled.

"Cake." he reminded them.

"What cake does he want?" She asked.

"Lemon cake. It's with our noon meal, you must be famished since you fell asleep before we broke our fast."

"Did Robb eat well?" she asked curiously, the tone of her voice sounded overly concerned.

"He ate everything I gave him, so did Jon. A couple pieces of sausage, toast, an apple. Drank some milk. He talks so much, not sentences but words."

She smiled. "He's very smart."

"He learned a new word…" Ned started. Catelyn sat up and smiled.

"Did he? What did you teach him?"

He wasn't sure he'd been smart in telling her. But it felt like the right thing to do. He picked Jon up again and sat on the bed, with the on his lap. He put a hand on Jon's head then looked at Robb. "Robb, who is this?"

"Jon!" He replied happily. "Mother…..mother, father….father, Jon….brother."

She seemed to pull Robb closer to her, her hand move to his head as if she were soothing him from a bad dream. Then Jon repeated, like he had been most of the day. They played and said words.

"Robb…Jon brother. Brother play."

"Ned please…" She sounded upset.

"He likes Jon…He's harmless. The only thing he's done the entire morning that's caused Robb any problem was when he was pulling on his horse. I gave him the same thing and the problem was solved, he has no malicious intent he won't hurt Robb."

"I don't like it…."

"What specifically don't you like?"

She sighed. "What he is…"

"If I could make him yours I would." He replied. "He's so small, and Robb thinks he's so much fun."

Tears filled her eyes. "He looks like you…."

"We'll have more children, the gods will make sure one favors me."

She set Robb on the floor, and Ned put Jon down as well. They both ran back to the toys and started to play again. She sighed and wiped the tears away. "Every time they see our son, I wonder if they don't think he's the bastard. He looks like you, he looks like lord of Winterfell and I didn't give him to you…"

He reached his hand out and stroked her cheek softly. She moved closer, and he pulled her close. He rubbed her back, and stroked her hair, she cried softly against him. But he was comforting.

"Your lovely. I'm glad he favors you. You have such beautiful eyes, and your hair is so soft." he kissed her. "When he's married, his wife will love being around him, he'll be so handsome. Like how it would have been had you married Brandon." Then he kissed her again.

"What does that mean…That isn't fair, I never said anything about it…"

"It isn't fair you dislike him so much. But what am I to think? I've given you plenty of time. I need a wife, Do you have need of a husband? I know I'm not Brandon, and I could never be Brandon. But, don't you think anything of me? I've made my best effort to make you happy and show I care about you, what exactly is it about him that makes him a better man than me?"

He'd made her angry, it was plain in her eyes when she looked back up at him, but she'd stopped crying. "I didn't say anything about him. I never said I preferred him to you…"

"But your actions speak contrary to that, my lady. I've always come to you, this is the first time since we've know each other you've came to me. And it was only because I asked you to."

"….Your being unreasonable. I like to be around you, your very comforting and kind."

"Your not yet fond enough of me to seek me out."

"Lords are very busy men…." She defended.

"Not at night…If you had trouble sleeping last night, you could have come to my bed. I slept through the whole night the last time I had you in my arms. All my life has been since we went to war is remembering all of that pain and suffering. I know your concerned about Jon Snow, he is still a baby. Can't you see what this will do to us?"

"I didn't know. Our talks have always been so happy. I…I didn't know you felt like I didn't want you around. You've always been good, and kind, and affectionate. I could hardly expect anymore." She took his hand, and let their fingers intertwine. "I've been foolish, it isn't always him that makes me anxious it's the whole of how we've been acting. I haven't been good to you…this just isn't how I thought our marriage would be."

"So, you agree. We should start over and be a little better, maybe we could talk about us, and not just on Robb. Maybe after I've done some work, and we've supped we can come back to my chambers…"

"No." She said firmly. He looked back at her with a mixture of hurt and confusion. "We'll go to my chambers, it's far too cold in yours."

He smiled. "Northern men like the feel of a nice chill in the air. Keeps us alert, for other things."

She woke up before him the next morning. He'd had his rights as her husband, as she expected he would. But she didn't expect when had happened after. She'd done her duty, he seemed to get overly affectionate. He seemed to be a man of simple comforts. He was still holding her, as far as she could remember he hadn't let go of her all night. She let her fingers brush some of the hair from his face, then they trailed down his jaw line. Maybe she had been too over jealous he had come to marry her, as custom said he should.

She needed to not compare him to his brother. It hadn't been intentional but as long as it felt like she was, the harder it would be to accept him. Her engagement with Brandon hadn't been rushed there was time for sweet words. When he came to marry her, he was solemn and she hadn't felt much of anything. But, if he'd been half as talkative on their wedding night, she would have been devastated to let him go to war. With a sigh she put her head on his chest and now she let her fingers trace out his scars. All new since they'd been married. He hadn't said anything about them, and less about the war. It had made her happy, she certainly wasn't ready to hear such troubling thoughts. But now thanks to their friendly talks she knew which foods he liked at feasts, what his favorite places in the castle were, and things he'd done as a boy. They also talked about her girlhood, but every time she had felt warmer towards him, and happy to share, somehow Brandon would come into their conversation. His name would stick in her throat, but he'd known.

All along she and Brandon had been strangers too. He talked about himself, how strong he was, how good with a sword he was, and a terrific leader. But the more she remembered him, the more she realized she did prefer Ned. He seemed to want her, she didn't know if Brandon would be the same way. But she was sure about one thing. They'd spent in some sort of communication was about the same, his regular conversations were about equal to how long she'd been engaged. Only she'd been in constant contact with her husband. So, she should know, should the time come how to coerce her husband to leave his lordly duties should she need to because he was far too tired or stressed. Ned, it wouldn't take too much, and he would be opposed, but he'd be mush more inclined to go with her then to stay. But, she couldn't in fact say she knew how she'd get Brandon to take a break even if he needed it. She didn't imagine he would want her to come to him.

"My lady."

She smiled. "My lord."

He moved to sit up, she moved with him. "Did I wake you? I took the blanket I was cold…"

"No. That I wouldn't notice. I like the chill in the air." He leaned in and kissed her. "You could have woken me."

"I've only been up a short while. I thought you'd appreciate the rest. I hadn't thought you'd need to be awoken for your lordly duties."

He smiled. "I have the feeling nothing spectacular is going to happen. What of my lady's duties?"

"Well," She smiled. "We'll have to break our fast with Robb. Then he'll be ready to play, but he'll need a nap at some point."

"If he were to not need him mother for…a little while. I think I have something you'd like to read."

"What would that be?"

"Nothing interesting….just a few letters ravens had brought to me on Riverrun. You've never heard of that place before though, surely."

She started to giggle. "Listen to you jape! I believe I've heard of it once or twice."

"I had asked to remain posted on events in the Riverlands, I think there might have been a girl who was born into house Tully around here. I might need her to help me understand who these people are."

"Oh? I might know who your talking about. She came back to Winterfell, married to some war hero."

"She was supposed to marry his much more handsome, older brother."

She touched his face and drew it closer to hers. He looked solemn, the same jealousy she'd shown the day before. Her blue eyes drew him in and he was starting to feel silly. "I'm sorry. I, I had been looking through his things. You were very fond of him in those letters…."

"I was. But, you are right. We need to over come this if we're ever to do our duty as husband and wife." She kissed his cheek. "I am very lucky, Brandon was told to marry me. You had a choice. You chose to come for me, whether or not it was just for his swords…."

"We did need the swords…But…My father had wanted the marriage in his death it was the last thing I could do for him to honor his name."

"Swords and honor. But you chose to be with me. You said the words, we joined our houses. I was lucky to have two Starks show interest in me. You're a good husband, I am well cared for."

"But you've been on your own…"

"I must admit, I miss my home, I miss being a girl….I had duties, but the duties as your lady, it is much harder than I had though. Nothing like I'd imagined."

"Winterfell is large, it is hard to get used to." He agreed.

"Don't you miss being a boy? When you weren't responsible for everything because it fell to him?"

"I think we long for these when we are unhappy." He replied. "I've been quite content. But I had been worried on you. I though if we held good communication between our houses, we might have more to say to each other."

"But you have little idea who these people are?" She teased.

"No. I have heard of some of these houses, but who is this, Walder Frey, and why is your father so unimpressed he is getting married."

She started to laugh, "Again! He's been married five times already! But, what would I do with Robb? He won't care for any of this. He'd rather be outside."

"…I think you know…"

"I can't trust him this quickly…." She got up and started to dress.

"Can you trust me?"

"I do trust you."

"Then, lets see what Robb would rather do after we eat."


End file.
